37 Weeks + An Interpretive Dance

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How am I doing at this point? I’d tell you, but better yet.... I decided to show you through the interpretive dance depicted in these photos. Pretty exciting stuff, eh?! Currently, when I look at the calendar, I think, ‘how did we get here?’. I feel like it was just yesterday we were soaking up free time like teenagers on summer break and I was still wearing skinny jeans.... comfortably. The ‘here’ we are currently at is the ‘rush to the finish line’ that I imagine all first-time parents experience. For some reason, I’m more concerned about what I’m going to wear at the hospital than what we are bringing the baby home in. Again with my priorities.

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:: Confessions on Pregnancy ::

- File this under things not to say to a pregnant lady. My mother-in-law and I were grabbing lunch a couple of weeks ago and the woman behind the counter pointed to my stomach and asked ‘boy or girl?’. I replied, ‘Not sure, what’s your guess?’...... which apparently opened the flood-gates of her word vomit. She informs me that when her sister was pregnant with a boy, she was all tall and skinny and just had this cute little belly... and she loved being pregnant. But when she was pregnant with her daughter, her hips exploded, her lips swelled and she was nearly two-hundred pounds. Then she stopped and said, while motioning dramatically towards my stomach with her salad tongs, ‘I think you’re having a girl’. Which I immediately responded to (in my head) as …. ‘Oh, you wanna take this outside?’.

- Few things have become an overall difficult ordeal during this pregnancy. I still take the subway, walk up the stairs at work and can make my pants magically stay up with the help of a hair tie. But get out of bed? It’s like watching a turtle that is stuck on its back. Or, better yet, reference this amazing video for the perfect example of what my life looks like. And yes, it is that painful to watch.

- I know I've said it before, but I’m a creature of habit. If I do things enough times, it just becomes second nature. I have a specific routine to how I get ready and I walk the same path to the subway. More recently, take checking into my lady doc appointments..... every time you go, you have to pee in a teeny-tiny plastic cup. Literally, every single time and I’m the worst at it. You would think someone would’ve come up with a more innovative process for this by now...... like just register your sample when you flush the toilet or something. Bigger problem being is that recently when I checked into my dentist appointment, I asked if they needed a urine sample. After an incredibly awkward stare, I realized..... ‘Oh, riiiiggght. We don’t do that here’.... and just slowly stepped away from the receptionist counter.

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26 Weeks + Stage Five Panic

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I’m not sure if there’s a term for what is currently happening in our apartment right now. It’s not technically ‘nesting’, as one would think, as much as ‘pure and total destruction’. I’ve discarded half my closet, but only managed to get the ‘giveaway’ box as close to the Salvation Army bin as my bedroom door. So that’s fun to trip over every day. Our front couch is in the back, we’re using E’s v-flats (definition: photo gear technical term for super tall foam boards) as fake walls to envision how the baby room would be built and every piece of furniture has been moved in order for me to get a feel for what it would look like elsewhere. And then, of course, only partially moved back. I basically can’t make a decision right now to save my life. So we’ve learned my feelings come out in the form of furniture rearrangement. Chalk it up to my stage five panic that set in after I went to my latest doctor appointment only to have her inform me that I’m on my final trimester. Huh, what? Yea, I said the same thing to her. Or at least my facial reaction did (disclaimer: I am 28 weeks in real time. I'm just lagging in keeping up the photos to correlate!) Thankfully, she’s my kind of lady. Took me a few visits to realize why I had a distinct feeling we understood each other. She’s slightly sassy, nonchalant and honest in a way some could find jarring, but I find refreshing. E was the one who acknowledged that she always complimented me on my fur, anything leather in my outfit or bold nail color. So pretty much the top three components to winning over my affection. Which makes her basically my OB soul mate and, therefore, the most qualified person to deliver this child.

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:: Confessions on Pregnancy ::

- You don’t know what an OB is either? I just learned this week when making a follow up appointment with the zesty new front desk receptionist! Let me enlighten you too. “Are you making an OB or GYN appointment, dear?”. Blank stare from me. “I don’t know what that means? Are those like those texting codes teenagers talk in these days?”. Blank stare back from receptionist. “Are you pregnant or not pregnant?”. “Oh” I stare down at my obvious belly near her eye level and then glance back at the receptionist. “By golly, I think I’m pregnant.” There was obvious judgement all over her face....it wouldn’t be far off to assume she burned my records.

- Perk of pregnancy; random strangers feel completely comfortable talking to you and sharing their wisdom on a whim. Take the dweller outside the corner bodega on Washington last week. After noticing I was pregnant and fighting a slight cough, he informs me to be sure to really take care of my health. I smiled and said I appreciated his concern. He continues to inform me that his lady was sitting on the park bench down the street one summer day and had a sneezing fit so bad it made her water break. Now they call their child ‘Sneezy’. The end. 

- What is a pregnant woman’s natural musk, you ask? Well, I’d have to say cocoa butter with a dash of Bio Oil. That’s right. I could spray perfume on myself with the intensity of an Abercrombie store, and it still wouldn’t hide the always present cocoa butter aroma that seeps out of every part of my skin. The best offense is a good defense, my friends. My fear of stretch marks is a close second to my fear of an outie belly button.

What We Wore :: Americana Dinner Style

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Decided to throw a little wild card into today's outfit post. Welcome the first 'His & Her' addition. Probably not going to be a thing. It just worked out that we had these photos from our Americana dinner we hosted for Anthology Magazine. Wanted to share our outfits for the feature. 

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WHAT WE WORE :: 

HIM

Shirt : J.Crew  // Pants : Zara  // Shoes : Kenneth Cole (similar)  // Hat : Brixton  // Jacket : John Varvatos

HER

Shirt : c/o 2020Ave // Pants : Target (similar #1, similar #2) // Shoes : Christian Louboutin // Shawl : Urban Outfitters (similar) // Necklace : DIY

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In other news, I'm starting to get why there are 'mom clubs'. You can't really relate to the weird thing that is pregnancy unless you've experienced said weird things. If you think of the 'club' as one usually does a fraternity, then pregnancy is the equivalent to the freshman hazing stage. Embarrassing moments are bound to happen, but at least there are always others who are enduring this right of passage with you.. and when it's all over, you wear it like a badge of honor. Forever. And if you survive, you're in for life.... with the stretch marks as your unifying battle wounds. It's just really that 'if you survive' part. So far, I haven't read a book on anything pregnancy related and I've only devoured maternity style blogs and read all 300 whatever pages Lay Baby Lay. Obvious priorities. Other than that, I only know what my daily experiences have been. Every day comes with its own little bizarre quirks. After some back and forth on my 'anti-oversharing' policy.... I decided some events and occurrences just need to be immortalized. Let's start off with a few of the latest ones. 

:: CONFESSIONS ON PREGNANCY :: 

- If your biggest worries and anxiety come out when you're laying in bed at night, then apparently mine is the fear of outie belly buttons. I laid awake for an hour the other night in fear of what I'd do if the day came my stomach morphed from an innie to an outie. Some people don't mind the outie..... I'm not one of those people. 

- Just when you breathe a sigh of relief that a man on the subway has finally stood up to offer you a seat on a busy morning train, a slightly neurotic and unfriendly woman whom, upon quick examination either just ate a burrito for breakfast or is all of like a week pregnant, gets on the train and asks for your seat..... riiiight as you're about to sit down. Uh.... hum, what? Seriously? You even have a super 'attention I'm pregnant' outfit on. Your eyes skim the shocked faces of the other passengers and in your most graceful and dignified tone, you say.... 'of course!'. Then, you proceed to stand over the breakfast burrito eating maniac and passive aggressively display your bump right in front of her.... for the remainder of your commute. Yep, that just happened to me last Monday. Love you too New York. Love you too. 

- If you've gotten to the point in life where you just really loathe shaving your legs..... well, you should just get pregnant! Yep, it's that easy. And then around month three, your leg hair just miraculously ceases to exist. Thank the Lord! Leg shaving was never one of my strong suits, and thankfully I have super blonde hair, but when it did happen.... it was usually a super botched job. (I know, you're feeling sorry for E right about now.) 

- Need a fool proof excuse for everything? Pregnancy brain. Also see: foggytown. My type-a internal list making and memory keeping ability has slowly slipped out of my grasp over the weeks. Do I have my keys? No clue. Oh, you just told me something really important about your new job? Gonna need you to repeat that. You sent me three emails about grabbing coffee? Nope, never read them. Oh, I responded to them all? You don't say. Don't remember doing that. Needless to say, everything from my apartment to my iPhone to my work computer is covered in reminders and to-do lists. Most of which I forget to check. 

Photos :: Andrew Shepherd