Gender Neutral :: The Choice To Wait

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With every decision you make during pregnancy, there will either come praise or opinions. No one will ever go straight to disapproval, they'll just offer 'opinions'. Which, thanks to your pregnancy brain, you'll likely forget in a matter of minutes anyway. Right now, the most frequently asked question to my bump is 'boy or girl'? Completely natural thing to inquire about and the always perfect 'go to' ice breaker when chatting it up with a pregnant lady. To which I kindly note with a shrug of my shoulders, 'We don't know.' Their faces usually say something like 'Don't know?'. Most people think it's a joke or we are hiding some super big secret as if the there's the possibility the third option to the gender of a baby is hiding inside my stomach. 

Prior to even becoming pregnant, I always had a hunch I would probably want to wait. And why not? We could always find out if we ended up losing sleep over it. Took a little more convincing to get E on that train with me, and he wavered back and forth a little before becoming completely into it, but it's always helpful to boldly throw out the 'solidarity' card in those moments (you're getting some bonus marriage lessons here today)! One month, I was dreaming of little rockstar girl outfits and how E will be complete and utter putty in her hands. The next month, I was thinking how sweet it would be to have a boy first who could be the 'big brother'. Now, I'm completely neutral. As long as this nugget comes out in a speedy fashion with ten fingers and ten toes…. we will be high five-ing ourselves. 

I wish there was some elaborate and deep parenting reason for why we chose to do this, but really, it's mostly because there aren't a lot of surprises left in the world. We've created a gadget, machine or hired a trend forecaster who will be sure we are one step ahead of everything at all times. And if those aren't adequate, we've still always got the lo-fi options of the fortune cookie or psychic. I love getting a glimpse into my future over a steaming bowl of fried rice, but I've never been one who needed to know before the rest of the world. Let's all remember, it's highly unlikely our own parents even had the option to find out when we were born. Thousands of years went by before the invention of the sonogram and it appears people survived. For now, we are enjoying the awkward moments on people's faces when they don't know whether to refer to my bump as 'baby', 'it' or a stuttering version of 'she/him'. On record, I call my baby an 'it'….. you're welcome to as well.