37 Weeks + An Interpretive Dance

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How am I doing at this point? I’d tell you, but better yet.... I decided to show you through the interpretive dance depicted in these photos. Pretty exciting stuff, eh?! Currently, when I look at the calendar, I think, ‘how did we get here?’. I feel like it was just yesterday we were soaking up free time like teenagers on summer break and I was still wearing skinny jeans.... comfortably. The ‘here’ we are currently at is the ‘rush to the finish line’ that I imagine all first-time parents experience. For some reason, I’m more concerned about what I’m going to wear at the hospital than what we are bringing the baby home in. Again with my priorities.

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:: Confessions on Pregnancy ::

- File this under things not to say to a pregnant lady. My mother-in-law and I were grabbing lunch a couple of weeks ago and the woman behind the counter pointed to my stomach and asked ‘boy or girl?’. I replied, ‘Not sure, what’s your guess?’...... which apparently opened the flood-gates of her word vomit. She informs me that when her sister was pregnant with a boy, she was all tall and skinny and just had this cute little belly... and she loved being pregnant. But when she was pregnant with her daughter, her hips exploded, her lips swelled and she was nearly two-hundred pounds. Then she stopped and said, while motioning dramatically towards my stomach with her salad tongs, ‘I think you’re having a girl’. Which I immediately responded to (in my head) as …. ‘Oh, you wanna take this outside?’.

- Few things have become an overall difficult ordeal during this pregnancy. I still take the subway, walk up the stairs at work and can make my pants magically stay up with the help of a hair tie. But get out of bed? It’s like watching a turtle that is stuck on its back. Or, better yet, reference this amazing video for the perfect example of what my life looks like. And yes, it is that painful to watch.

- I know I've said it before, but I’m a creature of habit. If I do things enough times, it just becomes second nature. I have a specific routine to how I get ready and I walk the same path to the subway. More recently, take checking into my lady doc appointments..... every time you go, you have to pee in a teeny-tiny plastic cup. Literally, every single time and I’m the worst at it. You would think someone would’ve come up with a more innovative process for this by now...... like just register your sample when you flush the toilet or something. Bigger problem being is that recently when I checked into my dentist appointment, I asked if they needed a urine sample. After an incredibly awkward stare, I realized..... ‘Oh, riiiiggght. We don’t do that here’.... and just slowly stepped away from the receptionist counter.

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