What’s in a name? Apparently a lot. The weight of naming this tiny human is about the most stressful thing to hit me since those first days of being on outie belly button watch. For the record, it’s still an innie (winning!). Do you want it to be a strong name or a sweet name? A name with family history or a name with street cred? Something that rhymes or something up with the times? Choose wisely, this is what they will be called for the rest.of.their.lives. How will you sleep at night if you choose a name that leaves them the mockery of the playground in later years? Or even something that you look back on and think..... gosh, that was a pregnancy brain decision if I ever had one. So, no pressure or anything.
Everyone wants their tiny human to have a distinctive name these days.... almost to a fault. We all know someone who told us their child’s name and our first thought was ‘sounds like they tried too hard’. We started just putting ‘Anderson’ after anything we saw or read just to see how it flowed. It usually happens when we are walking down the street, reading banners on the subway or perusing the aisles of the grocery store. We just read things or point to them and then put ‘Anderson’ after them. Really, it’s good practice for how your partner reacts to certain trigger names. ‘Oh, how about that street sign’ - Vanderbilt Anderson, or ‘how delicious are those cookies?’ Nabisco Anderson, and obviously, ‘aren’t you glad you put a ring on it?’ Beyonce Anderson. All came from chance encounters while out and about. As you can see, it's really an effective exercise.
I don’t think you even know your own level of judgement towards names until you have to start thinking if you would look at your own child square in the eyes and refer to them by that name, forever. Well apparently, my judgement runs deep. E will read names to me and the responses go something like this --
‘Nope, too cliche’
‘Used to know a hoochie girl with that name at my high school’
‘Isn’t that your neighbor's dog’s name?’
‘Sounds like a redneck monster truck driver’
‘Sounds like a crazy grandma’
‘Oh sure, if you want our kid to sound like a total tool’
I read names to E and his responses are either noncommittal shrugs or they go something like this --
‘Sounds sooooo Park Slope’ (you could probably also substitute Park Slope for Portland or Austin)
‘No, we can not name our child after a character in The Hunger Games’
'Have you had a glass of wine?'
Since by some law you have to name your tiny human before you leave the hospital, or guess what, the State of New York literally makes you sign the birth certificate ‘Baby Girl or Baby Boy Anderson’..... I finally took to the most authoritative resource available - Hipster Baby Name Generator. Want to know what it generated for us? Good, cause I couldn’t help but share! Please, vote for your favorites in the comment section.
- L Train Anderson
- Occupy Quinoa Anderson
- Vinyl Kale Anderson
- Ironic Prius Anderson
- Neon Gouda Anderson
- A$AP Yolo Anderson
- PBR NPR Anderson
We are getting down to the wire. Let's just hope we don't end up with a 'Baby Girl Anderson' on our hands out of indecisiveness. Because, that would happen to me.